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What About Receiving Empathy?

We’ve learned to give empathy. But can we let ourselves receive it? Take a breath We talk a lot about building empathy. About giving it. Being an empath. Holding space for others. But I don’t hear us talk enough about receiving empathy, especially when we’re the ones who need it most. It’s a big miss. Especially for those of us healing from trauma. Many of us are naturally empathetic toward others, but often, we’re the ones most in need of empathy, from ourselves, and from others. Yes, we talk about self-compassion. And I’m all for it. I did the full 8-week program and loved it. I highly recommend it (link here). But something else is also true: healing doesn’t happen in a vacuum. It happens in community. And this year,...

A bee minding her own business

What If Brené Brown Isn’t Right for Everyone?

Exploring why some of us don’t feel shame or guilt. And what we feel instead. I write a lot about fear. But not about guilt. Not about shame. Not because I don’t want to, but because I don’t feel them. I feel fear instead. And weirdly enough, a part of me wishes I could feel guilt or shame. Because that would mean there’s enough safety to feel reflective emotions like that. But when your system is wired for survival, fear is the default. There’s no space for “Am I a good person?”, only “Am I safe right now?” I’m writing this because knowledge is gold. And I want others who are like me to have a lightbulb moment, like I did. The day I felt guilt for the first time,...

Loon Lake in BC

Pulled in Every Direction: Between Fear and Joy

One more step toward self-worth, even when fear tries to sabotage everything. Why is it so hard to accept the good in ourselves? Why so much fear in my heart and in my body? This long weekend, I had the chance to take part in an incredible women’s gathering, organized by Réseau-Femmes BC, in a beautiful place by a lake - Loon Lake. We were about 60 French-speaking women, from all over the world: from Africa (Senegal, Morocco, Cameroon…), to Europe (Belgium, Poland, France…), through North America (U.S. and Mexico), Asia (Jordan), Russia… Such diversity, such richness. But the first 24 hours, I was swimming in fear. Fear of talking too much. Fear of not letting others speak. Fear of asking the wrong questions. Fear of being judged, of overdoing it, of taking up...

Let's talk about nothing

Let’s talk about nothing

Exploring the unexpected wisdom of nothing I was wondering what I should write about this week. Every week I worry that I won’t have anything interesting to write about. Then it hit me: Maybe I should write about nothing and see where it takes me. Let’s give it a try! Let’s have fun! And here I am, writing about nothing, hoping some of you will be intrigued enough to read about it. Who knows, maybe I’ll get some unusual clicks and views - talk about a conversation starter, right? So, let’s talk about nothing. Have you ever thought about nothing? What do you think about nothing? Let me think… Nothing tends to get a bad rap. It’s like boredom, emptiness, resting, sleeping, stopping, or mindfulness, things that aren’t exactly...

The Weight We Hold, The Support We Need

On the quiet burden of holding it all in, and learning to lean into support. Take a moment. Notice your shoulders. Can you relax them? Phew. This was unexpected. Last Friday, as I was getting ready to go to school, I glanced at my shoes. It was sunny, so I decided to switch from my winter boots to my summer shoes. I moved the arch support from the winter ones into the summer ones. But before I even slipped my foot in, I felt it again, that old fear. The fear that changing shoes might bring back the pain in my leg. Still, I had to do it. So I did. I put the insoles in and tried them on. And oh my goodness - I had that somatic feeling...

Laure in furry coat

Struggling to See My Own Strengths: A Journey of Self-Acceptance

A Reflection on Shadow Work, Body Image, and Finding My True Self So far, I’ve been talking about my fears of showing myself, standing up, and standing out. But on the other side of this, is the challenge of embracing who I am, with my values, strengths, qualities, and even what I might call my weaknesses (as I’m learning about shadow work). And that’s been difficult too. Last week, I dug deeper into shadow work, especially for women. I started watching a workshop called The Shadow Side of the Feminine by Maanee Chrystal, and I was surprised by what I learned. I knew but couldn’t connect to what women have been going through, and still are. This adds another layer of trauma to an already long list....

Laure being human with all her emotions

How to be human, not happy

Because it’s not about always being happy, it’s about welcoming every emotion as part of being human. I got a little annoyed a few weeks ago when I saw yet another person selling happiness. Our society is so focused on positive happiness: always being happy, always smiling, chasing amazing experiences, vacations, weekends… Most of us are still trying to make more money than we need, buy a house, buy more stuff, have kids, drive nice cars… I’m not saying it’s easy to let go of those desires. I want money and vacations too. Courses that promise happiness, the best life, relief in a two-hour workshop, or “life-changing experiences” annoy me in two ways: they sell the impossible, they’re overly optimistic, unrealistic, and unreasonable, all in such a limited time. Yet, as...

Me thinking: should I share or should I go?

Should I Share or Should I Go?

A tender battle between wanting to be seen and fearing I’ll be judged for it April 2nd Two weeks ago, I shared my first mini e-book, The Toll of the News on Our Mental Health. It was exciting. I had previously shared its content in six separate articles over two weeks before compiling and releasing the full version. This really pushed my boundaries: I posted six articles in two weeks on Substack, sent out six newsletters, and shared on both my personal and professional Facebook and LinkedIn profiles, plus a few Facebook groups I’m part of. It felt like… a lot. I kept thinking: Am I pushing too hard? Am I forcing people to read me? Will they think I want too much attention? Will they unsubscribe, annoyed that...

Reflect and integrate

The Toll of the News on Our Mental Health [part 6/6]

Reflect and integrate As we wrap up this series of 6 articles, it’s time to reflect on the journey we’ve taken together. We’ve explored various strategies to manage our news consumption and enhance our mental well-being. How have you felt about the changes we’ve discussed so far? Remember, this process is about progress, not perfection. Here is the first article if you missed the series. Here are some reflective questions: What have you learned about your news consumption habits? Which of the practices introduced felt most impactful? Have you noticed any changes in how you feel daily since beginning these new practices? Here are some more tips to integrate those new habits in the long term (did you guess I love tips and lists?!): Habit Stacking: Inspired by...

Eating mindfully

The Toll of the News on Our Mental Health [part 5/6]

Replace this new free time with positive news Now, we’re shifting our focus from merely avoiding negative influences to actively incorporating positive elements into our lives. How have you been doing with the changes we’ve discussed so far? Remember, be kind to yourself; it’s about progress, not perfection. Slow and steady wins the race. Now, let’s explore how we can replace the time usually spent on consuming negative news with more uplifting and enriching activities. Tip #11: Discover Positive News Sources A few years ago, I started looking out for apps dedicated to broadcasting good news, and I found some gems! Apps like GoodNews offer content in English and German, while Good News Network provides a daily dose of uplifting stories. These apps are free, though donations are welcomed to...